Silent shame

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 I see you shining through my tears and pain

The truth of those nights I carried much shame

Plush in excuses of why to move as a fraud

Not wanting to show my flawed life

I built up this wall with a smile on my lip

My tears in my eyes a depression grew

Therapy didn’t work because sharing wasn’t okay

I could only offer surface details never great

I could not utter those words that, “I was raped”

One day they will see that fragile person who refused to weep

So quietly I tried to center my mind

See I was confident I would eventually bounce back

Now a decade has gone by and I reflect on time missed

Which will never come back for it has gotten worse 

A mask of deception that all is okay that my healing will come 

That day never came isolation transpired

 so no one could see the broken little girl who lived within me

Though weary she showed her face over time

Progressing towards an acknowledgment, I confronted that pain

For healing to start I throw away the blame

In order to move past the unspoken shame

Through errors in judgment, I took a vow to find closure 

I've learned to love myself fully enough where sharing my love was the goal

Which I did and now my life feels more whole

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